莳萝泡菜中英文(8)

positive than that–nothing more selfish. Only I did desire, eventually, to turn into a magic carpet and carry you away to all those lands you longed to see."

As he spoke she lifted her head as though she drank something; the strange beast in her bosom began to purr . . .

"I felt that you were more lonely than anybody else in the world," he went on, "and yet, perhaps, that you were the only person in the world who was really, truly alive. Born out of your time," he murmured, stroking the glove, "fated."

Ah, God! What had she done! How had she [Page 238] dared to throw away her happiness like this. This was the only man who had ever understood her. Was it too late? Could it be too late? She was that glove that he held in his fingers. . . .

"And then the fact that you had no friends and never had made friends with people. How I understood that, for neither had I. Is it just the same now?"

"Yes," she breathed. "Just the same. I am as alone as ever."

"So am I," he laughed gently, "just the same." Suddenly with a quick gesture he handed her back the glove and scraped his chair on the floor. "But what seemed to me so mysterious then is perfectly plain to me now. And to you, too, of course. . . . It simply was that we were such egoists, so self-engrossed, so wrapped up in ourselves that we hadn't a corner in our hearts for anybody else. Do you know," he cried, naive and hearty, and dreadfully like another side of that old self again, "I began studying a Mind System when I was in Russia, and I found that we were not peculiar at all. It's quite a well-known form of . . . "

She had gone. He sat there, thunder-struck, astounded beyond words. . . . And then he asked the waitress for his bill.

"But the cream has not been touched," he said. "Please do not charge me for it." [Page 239]

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他说这话时，她抬起了头，好像饮了琼浆一样；那只怪兽开始在她的心中咕哝。 “我感到你比世上任何人都要孤独。“他继续道，”然而，或许你是世界上唯一真正实实在在活着的人。“

啊，上帝！她究竟做了些什么！她怎么能敢如此地抛弃她的幸福呢！这是唯一一个曾经真正了解她的人。是不是太迟了？该不该太迟了呢？

“事实上你从来不与人交朋友。我知道这个事实是因为我也是如此。我们俩现在是不是一样？“ “是的。“她喘了口气。”完全一样。我还是和以往一样的孤独。“

“我也是如此。他轻轻地笑道：“完全一样。”

猛然间，他迅速地把手套递给了她，将椅子蹭了一下地板。“但是，一直令我迷惑不解的事情现在我完全明白了。问题在于我们俩人过于自我主义，过于以自我为中心，封闭在自我天地之中而在彼此的心中无法给对方留一席之地。你知道吗？“他放开声，天真地嚎啕痛哭起来。她已经离开了那儿。他坐在那里，像遭雷击一般，惊讶得说不出话来