The art of forgiveness(2)

宽容

mean reconciliation with the person who upset you or condoning of his or her action.

Take the control away from your offender. Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. "Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you," Frederic says.

Try to see things from the other person's perspective. If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear -- even love. To gain perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender's point of view.

Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns.

Don't forget to forgive yourself. "For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge," Frederic says. "But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it."